[Ghosts of Wayne Fontes] What’s Next for #85?
The impending saga and sloppy divorce between Chad Johnson and the Bengals now seems inevitable. Whatever happened in the past, the showmanship, the celebrations, the dominance, the swagger, the bond between young promising QB and talented, yet flashy WR…IS OVER. We’re talking about irreconcilable differences. And everything we saw coming was confirmed by T.J Housmendwhathisname yesterday. Apparently, Chad, T,J and Carson aren’t as buddy-buddy as we thought.
So, what does this leave for the future of not only my Fantasy Football team, but also the career of Chad Johsnon? If anything, T.O proved you can still salvage a career after an ugly (team destroying divorce), but you really can’t fully repair your reputation. The likeable and loveable Ocho Cinco had better surround himself with some damn good PR folks or that famed persona and rep goes up in flames. Don’t think for a second that the Bengals have any intentions of trading him. Nope, there just going to move on and sweep his baggage under the rug.
Fair or not, Chad’s going to have to weigh some other options while he initiates “operation shutdown.” Now, we’ve seen holdouts in the NFL before, but we are talking about Chad Johnson here. Can we honestly assume that he is going to go quietly into the night until his situation is resolved? Yeah, I didn’t think so…Chad is going to be looking for a camera, a platform at every corner. And that’s why I pieced together a half-ass attempt at imagining just what Chad will do with his time off. Follow me..
1. “I Luv 85″: A VH1 reality TV show much like “Flavor of Love” or “Rock of Love.” You get the picture; a bunch of slutty chicks battle it out to stay in “Ocho Cinco’s” L.A mansion. Sound like a winner? Hmmm.
2. Dancing with the Stars: Ok, I had to make sure you were still with me. Don’t fall asleep. If you hit in me the flat…I’m taking it the house.
3. NFL Countdown: Who would you rather watch bicker and banter about Football; Chad or his illegitimate cousin Keyshawn?
Boomer: “Chad, you’re thoughts on the Bengals at the Steelers today.”
4. Race another horse.
5. The Canadian Football League: If it worked for Ricky Williams, couldn’t it work for Chad. On second thought…
6. Stage a press conference with his agent for PTI and be seen lifting weights in his driveway.
7. Overdose on prescription pills and have his publicist announce he tried to commit suicide. Ooops.
8. Publish a book, leaking all the dirty secrets, life and times of the Cincinnati Bengals over the past few years. Like you wouldn’t read that.
9. Visit Chris Henry in jail.
10. Just shut up and play, all while lobbying to be traded to Dallas. OK, that ain’t gonna happen.
And that’s all I got, please feel free to add your more creative suggestions in the comments section below. Good day.